Why Your Husband May Not Be Helping You with the Homeschooling

Now that the post title has gotten your attention, let’s talk about ways in which our husbands participate in our homeschools. Some of us may have very active dads and others may feel like dads could do more. Why Your Husband May Not Be Helping You with the Homeschooling is meant to inspire families today to see how dads already are contributing and perhaps you’ll find a few more ideas to include.

General Thoughts on Including Dads

Wherever your husband falls on the helping out scale, it’s important to remember a few things:

• Is Your Husband in Agreement with Homeschooling?– This is probably one of the biggest factors in how involved Dad is going to be. Even if he is not in the day to day, you need the support of a cheerleader who can encourage you when you enter difficult periods. And, you will.
• Outline Expectations– How much time does your husband have? Does he travel? What is he good at? All of these go into choosing how he will contribute to your homeschooling. Be realistic. No one likes to be set up to fail.
• Do Your Best Not to Compare– Your husband is uniquely qualified to work with his own family. Capitalize on his strengths and don’t compare him to other dads. I’ll be sharing how Dan works with us and it’s not meant to brag or bring anyone down. On the contrary, I’m hoping that something we do will inspire you in ways your husband can contribute.
• Take Advantage of His Strengths– This probably goes without saying, but maybe not. Choose to include dad in things he’s partial to or good at. Even if you want someone else to grade papers, try not to save all things you hate just for him!
• Focus on the Big Picture– Dads are usually good “big picture” people. Dan likes to have input over large homeschooling direction, but he prefers me to handle the details.
• Go Beyond Academics– Remember that things don’t have to be strictly academic for it to count toward homeschooling hours. A talk about bicycle safety at dinner is part of health. Helping with the building of a model rocket is science. Helping dad service the lawn mower is mechanics. My guess is your husband could and probably does include your kids in many endeavors which can be recorded as homeschooling.
• Let Them Go– Dads spend time with their kids differently than moms. Let them enjoy the time and try not to micromanage how your husband helps out. If he knows what his task is and he’s ready to go, then let them help. No hovering or complaining allowed!

Ways to Involve Dad in Your Homeschooling

Time to brainstorm a list of the ways dads can contribute to homeschooling.

• Read Aloud Time– This is a great way for dad to help out. Bedtime reading comes to mind or it can be any other time.
• Take on One Subject– Hand over one subject that dad handles. Math is a popular one, but maybe it will be history or geography.
• Weekend Projects– Set aside time for special projects when dad is around. This is a great idea for traveling husbands too. Work on something that’s in dad’s niche during these times.
• Book Discussions– Reading dads influence readers and being able to discuss books and learn dad’s perspective is a worthwhile opportunity.
• General Discussions– Spending time talking with your homeschoolers is a positive investment for any dad. Shaping values and a student’s character is so important.
• Share Expertise– This is one of the best ways a dad can help with homeschooling. Whether it’s a skill or a wealth of knowledge, dads have a lot to share with the kids.
• Teach at Co-op– Dads sometimes teach at our homeschool co-op. We have a two hours for ten Mondays a semester type co-op and classes are extra curricular in nature. We’ve seen dads teach dulcimer building, LEGO robotics, supervise recess, courage and character for teens among other things.
• Assign Special Challenges– I know lots of dads challenge kids with a special project, research, reading, etc. Kids thrive when dad focuses on what a particular child needs and assigns special, more challenging work with a goal.

How Single Moms or Moms with Dads on the Road Can Include Dad

This topic wouldn’t be complete without a discussion on homes where dad is not present or is not home often. It requires extra effort and provides more of a challenge. I’m not an expert, but I’ll offer a few ideas:

• Use Skype & Other Technology– Computers can bring kids and dads together across the miles. You can save spelling practice and reading aloud for Skype time. There are a lot of options for your kids to enjoy time with dad and have him be an active part of their homeschooling.
• Find a Mentor– Every kid needs a male presence. How about a grandfather or a trusted family friend? This could even be an instructor from an extra activity.

How My Husband Participates in Our Homeschool

Ok, this section is a shameless shout out to my husband, Dan who works tirelessly to care for us and to be our hero. I hope it will help you to think of all the ways your husbands are supporting you in your homeschooling!

• Master Explainer– If one of the kids needs help or has a question, they love to ask Dan. He uses a our slate chalkboard or a white board to illustrate. Our daughter will often ask for a chalkboard explanation.
• Reading Aloud– Dan will often read to the kids. This was especially true when they were younger. He even took them walking once when I was out of town and brought a book to read when they rested.
• Coaches LEGO Robotics– Dan spends a lot of his free time working with our kids and others on the teams for FIRST LEGO League. This is a perfect combo of teamwork and engineering. He mentors teams and has even recruited a few other dads for the job.
• Takes Kids on Field Trips– He is particularly good at keeping an eye out for interesting events on campus. He works at a university so there are a lot of outreach events we can take advantage of.
• Loves a Good Discussion– Not only does he explain, but he also discusses things with our kids and will often challenge them with various perspectives on a topic.
• Spends Time with Our Kids– Just in general. He seeks out time with them together an individually. He might play a game, do an activity, or just talk but he is available. If he’s not, then he lets them know when he will be.
• Encourages Our Kids in their Niche– He will take the time to talk to them about a project and offer suggestions. He makes materials available and will build and provide project areas for them.
• Researches Purchases & Supplies– If a kid needs something special or ordinary, he will do the research with them to find the best item.
• Helps with Projects– No matter how big or small. From building electromagnets to programming to costume making, he can help point them in the right direction.
• Assigns Special Challenges– Because he knows them and what they are working on well, he can make suggestions for special challenges. They love going to him for a new challenge and they are excited to share the results with him.
• Involved in Our Homeschool Group– By helping out with filming events or photography, webmaster for our website, and at the time of this post we lead our homeschool group together.
• IT Mastermind behind Blog, She Wrote– This list would not be complete without noting that Dan helps behind the scenes with my blog. I’ve been blogging since 2007 and learned a ton, but when he knew I was in for the long haul he joined me in the effort and it’s been a lot of fun. Plus, I’ve learned a whole lot more!

Thank you, Dan for all your hard work and commitment to us and to our children’s education!

More Posts Including Dad from Blog, She Wrote

Dan has been an active participant in our homeschool from the start. Below are some posts which highlight some of the homeschooling moments with the kids. Most of these are narratives of the activities he did with the kids. What does your husband do best with your kids?

Adventures of a Homeschooling Dad– This is a guest post by Dan from 2008 when I had major surgery and was hospitalized for almost a week. A fun read, Dan was out to prove homeschooling and housekeeping with four kids ages 10 to 3 years old was no big thing! This one is a reader favorite!

How to Keep up with an Accelerated Reader– Dan is our pre-reader since he has less regular homeschooling responsibilities and he reads fast!

Co-op: How Does It Work? A post about how our homeschool co-op works

Cool Dad Homeschooling Moments– An example of how Dan grabs an opportunity for the kids and runs with it. This one is about a temperature recording device.

Temperature Recorders Part 2 (or When You Have a Super Cool Homeschool Dad)– How Dan had the kids collect the data from the temperature recorders shared in the above post.

How to Engage Your Teen with Books– Great ideas for book discussions, dad included!

If you feel like your husband could do more to support homeschooling, think on all the ways he contributes already– whether they are large or small. Consider realistic ways he might do more and approach him with some new ideas. Don’t forget to capitalize on his strengths and enjoy!